Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Line Between Love and Hate

The saying goes that there is a thin line between love and hate. In regards to food, the line is getting thicker for me.

I started to eat differently than the SAD (Standard American Diet) this past February when my DH did so I could support him on his health quest. In turn, he supported me too. At first, I really liked the changes. Without all the processed crap and additives in my food, I could really taste food flavors, and I just felt better in general: fewer stomach upsets, less bloating, more energy, and a brighter outlook among other things. During the health process, I transitioned from nutritarianism to vegetarianism. I am not morally opposed to eating meat by any means, but I feel better not eating it. Things were new and interesting, and I tried lots of new recipes which was good. Some were keepers, some were not.

Over the past few months, I have used food mostly for what it was intended to be...fuel.  Food just has lost it's luster for me. It is becoming little more than a hassle, and the question what do I want to eat? is often followed by nothing sounds good. This has made the planning and shopping all kinds of difficult.  I am still eating because I have to, but oh, how I wish I could take a pill that just contains everything I need so I don't need to think about it at all. I have some more new recipes planned for this next week, but I have to say, none of it excites me...and maybe that's okay.

Maybe food simply needs to be fuel...but I must admit, it makes me kind of sad that I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I honestly don't think it's what I'm eating, but the changes I've made that are the culprit.  In a world full of white flour and sugar, partially hydrogenated oils,high fructose corn syrup, dyes, and preservatives, where no one seems to eat like me, dinner parties and parties in general are not the same. The social aspect of food is what I am missing I guess. I mean how many people do you know who speak fondly about the great tofu meal their mom makes or her great veggie burgers? And as much as I like eating meat-free, and as many new recipes as I try, none hold a comforting place in my heart. Now, I know that I am probably better off, but it's still sometimes (and lately especially) hard to deal with.

I keep hoping that I'm just in a rut, that food will excite me once again, or at the very least sound good to me, but I don't know if it will. I'll keep you posted.

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